i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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