And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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