Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
