awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
