I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
