Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How's work?
Spinning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
