Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
