We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
