his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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