its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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