You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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