I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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