We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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