Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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