I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
