I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
