Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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