Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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