I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
