Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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