She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
