OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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