Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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