The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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