Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
