i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
