Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
