i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
