just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
