I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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