And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We need to get me chipped asap
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