we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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