I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
