She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
