the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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