I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize