sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize