Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
