your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
