Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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