I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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