i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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