i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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