what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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