I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
