Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
