sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
