We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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