I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
