just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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