I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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