I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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