aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
