should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
