another moral hangover. fuck.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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