I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
