i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize