So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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