Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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