They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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