she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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