I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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