I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
