Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
