Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i've created a new STD.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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