I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
