hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
