dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
